Relative Misery

My emotions are on a roller coaster lately. I was to go home today for one blessed week, but the Goddess decided to let it snow let it snow let it snow, making it difficult to catch a plane East. Even if the big birds were taking off, my family has deemed it unfit to travel, so I am grounded. By family, I mean the co-conspirators who keep me imprisoned here. They've recruited a third male to torment me & heighten my misery, the boyfriend. Prince Pepper turned on me by agreeing with them, that travel was unwise. I shrieked things about his mother, his work & his receding hairline for about an hour. I claimed that, if he loved me, he'd be putting together a dog sled team instead of making me more miserable. Yes, it was unreasonable & I will have to call later & be nice & apologetic as all get-out. I did it because I wanted him to be as miserable as I was at that moment, is that so crazy? (only the women answer, please) Just last Thursday I was doing the Snoopy Happy Dance at the thought of one week of autonomy & freedom. When those hopes were dashed, I wanted everyone around me to suffer. It was too dramatic a swing.....from elation to annihilation.

I have been in a constant state of misery, but it varies in degree. Most of the time I just languish & bitch to Buckeye, the cat. A little while ago I ventured out of my room &, for once, no father, no son popping up in front of me with questions. Do you need something? Who are you calling? Why are you holding the big knife? I've considered ordering a stun gun through Amazon. Neither of them was just standing there & staring at me like intrusive owls. I worried they were off plotting something dastardly until I heard the sound of the Browns VS da Bills game on the HD TV in the den. They were guffawing over the nasty weather on the playing field, zero visibility. Around these parts we call that "the Lake Effect." Lake Erie gets blamed for everything. This game, going on as I type, is distracting them from their relentless attention. Therefore, I am free to roam around from room to room like a real adult. For some reason, I feel like either singing into a spatula or spray-painting the walls.

I never thought I would be grateful that a football game was on, but the sight of all those meatheads on the snowy, slushy field in Cleveland is keeping my male captors busy & my misery at a minimal level.

And that is a good thing.