Let's Get Ready to Rumble !!

Welcome, fight fans, to the bout of the year! In one corner: that Steeltown Scrabble maven; tap dancing frogess; wondrous woman of Wordox.....Dorcas! In the other corner: the Sonny Barger of Wordox; Indiana's high-flying, loud squawking, fast drinking crow.....Perrin!

Don't miss this battle, folks, it's just getting to the part where Jeff starts mentioning his own "wedding tackle" & accusing people of having hard-ons for Richard. Please hurry & catch up because they are almost to the part where Jeff's balls come into play. It has only been implied thus far, that he may not have any. Very soon they could start insulting each other's mothers. Dorcas vs Jeff. (read the comments under the Keeping Up post) These are two intelligent, superb players & I expect this battle will be creative & cataclysmic. They are somewhere around their 3rd Round right now. They pulled Richard aka Pompa Zazz into the ring in the 2nd Round & slapped him around a little, through no fault of his own. Toward the end of that round they fell out of their own ring & brawled over to my arena for a quick snipe or two. (see comments on my last post) They fought at the tables with ladder games last night, then continued their mutual assaults back at Jeff's site.

By the end of the night, they were fairly even on my scorecard. Jeff lost some judges' points for not having concrete examples of his declarations, but he gained some ground with a funny stalker analogy. Miss Dorcas had him in a headlock with purported evidence of Richard & Jeff avoiding her on the playing field. She delivered a blistering blow when she introduced homoeroticism into the discussion. Both warriors calmed down & just hurled punctuation at one point (winkies!), but I think they were simply resting up for the next flurry.

The only solution is for them to take this out of the cyberworld & face each other in an actual ring. My money's on Dorcas, she's been working out on the bike lately.

The State of Wordox

Wordox is in a rather sorry state, isn't it? Attendance at tournaments & Interleague is very low & member enthusiasm is all but extinct. There are a few signs of growth & new life. Our RubyNewbie (rubydg) reeled in a new member from across the pond who enjoyed the tourneys so much she determined to have a nap next week so she could stay up & play with us.

Extreme Ox gets a decent turnout most of the time. Over in that neck of the woods Duncansmama is the stalwart oak that we all huddle under for that safe, warm feeling she projects. When things were particularly bad one evening & Wordox was a ghost town, the few players that showed up were fretting about the leagues shutting down. Duncs said (I paraphrase) "As long as I can get into the room, we'll have tournaments." We all felt better.

I lost my EXOX crown to the evil Bluberry. Lately I've been feeling random pains in my legs, shoulders, temple. I suspect she has a Holly Pepper doll somewhere with a bunch of pins in it. She is VoodooBlu. I can't prove this, but the pains did stop after she won the crown back. At one tourney, the TD thanked everyone for registering. I said my usual "thank you for keeping us out of the crack houses." Players laughed, wished each other good luck. Blu said "I'm playing from a crack house." She's evil, but she's funny.

A lot of players are spending their time at WordSteal, but I don't get the attraction. I've dropped in there & the graphics seem rather boring. My partner is raising hell over there & swears it's a thrill ride, I just don't see it.

My beloved Synergy is limping along. Its members don't play there anymore & the TD's have lost all enthusiasm. I really don't know what happened. One moment we were having a rollicking good time, playing Swiss Teams, Masquerades, Bawdy Ox; the next moment we were looking at one possible tournament a day & no players. If it wasn't also happening to other leagues, I would blame the Barnyard Epidemic of '05. We lost a lot of members in that one. Sometimes you can still hear one of them out there, quacking in the dark.

Here's hoping things pick up soon! :::clink:::

Couch Pepper Scribblings

Since my last post, I have been busy helping humanity. I have traveled to many downtrodden African nations & have adopted a few children, one of whom is albino. Because of that condition, his fellow villagers believed he had the ability to dowse water. I call him Rod.

I made an earnest attempt to find out what happened to Amelia Earhart. I'll bet they didn't really try hard to find her in those days, the operative word being "her." If it was a male aviator they would have called out all the armed forces until he was found. I found nothing new regarding the Earhart case, but I did get a good sunburn remedy from a Samoan.

I also spent a lot of down time examining my own spirituality. I meditated for days in a cloistered retreat run by Catholic nuns. They were a nice bunch of gals who never once objected to me calling them "Jesus's harem." I plan to go back there soon & aid them in their endeavors to feed the community. Sainted Sisters of Soup.

Okay, I can't go on with this. I haven't been anywhere. I have been planted on my couch, fighting with friends & loved ones & bitching at doctors. I have been writing various things & having some of the best phone conversations of my life, but most of my time is spent watching TV. The set & I are becoming ONE. Like the rest of the unemployed, braindead world, I am fascinated by Britney Spears. What's that long German word that means 'delight in another's misery'? (Dorcas, find me that word) That smoilenfrauzin, or whatever it is, just engulfs me whenever I see the Louisiana lunkhead on the tabloids. This is happening to her because her parents, approximately 18 years ago, sold her to the devil. They could have continued to give their daughter lessons & a well-rounded education but, instead, they wanted to take a faster route. They agreed to pimp their own daughter out. As a minor, they authorized her to sing her little sexually-suggestive "Oops..." and "....give it to me one more time" songs, thereby expanding her fan base from 10-16 year old girls, to a demographic of pedophiles of all ages. Instead of celebrating her 18th year & advancement into womanhood with a new, more mature form of artistic expression, they let her rip her blouse open & gyrate in gold "boy panties." Cheryl Crow said, "Britney was given the full porn treatment." Now her parents have to watch their creation be destroyed because no one wants to see a stretch-marked, Marlboro-smoking housewife with the artistry of a sugar beet. The little girls have deserted her & the pedophiles have deemed her too old & therefore "unyankable," so the poor little Mouseketeer has been shouting "Look at me! Look at me!" and jumping in front of any camera that will have her. Eventually she will bottom out (or "go to Downeyville" as they say in Hollywood) and then she will disappear for about 2 years. She will reappear on OPRAH in a dignified black dress, with her new husband, Jake, & tell us all about her relationship with the lord.

Britney needs to go off into the Bayou of her home state & go back to her roots. I remember going fishing for catfish down there, with my master by my side. I would run through the tall grass & soak my belly in the sun. No, wait, that wasn't me....that was Old Yeller.