(!) (!)

I was planning at least 2 weeks in Columbus, where I would be annoying & enjoying some family. That plan fell apart when I was notified that my favorite paranoid schizophrenic was about to surface in NY. Some of you may have been reading this site so long you remember my discussions of my buddy Glenn, who is basically homeless, but visits a circuit of homes routinely. He arrived Monday. I love when my visits are during these cold winter times. I can know with absolute certainty that, for a few nights, he is warm & safe.

I know he is safe, but I'm not certain I'm entirely safe. My sanity has been on tenderhooks lately, what with the Hoyle Migration; the realization that we're still not going to have a female candidate for president; & the recent discovery that my boyfriend is a little crazier than I'd imagined. Glenn had me dancing & singing so much that I didn't notice he kept refilling my vodka glass until he almost had me talked into changing my name to Nonny Dawn (!) (!). Those are not breasts. Anyone who took Anthropology as an undergrad Humanities elective should know what sound that punctuation represents. Bet you a dollar Dorcas knows the word for that sound & at least 3 ways to steal it. I remember practicing it a lot when I watched the movie The Gods Must Be Crazy.

I am well aware that schizophrenia, while highly heritable, is not contagious. And yet, I feel as though I'm slipping over to his side of the rainbow this visit. I am the one who is screaming & running into the closet when the Pizza Man rings the buzzer. I've been the one spouting theories about Christina Ricci being an alien, & prancing around in a ratty ballgown that only Courtney Love would wear. Glenn's been rather stable. I think he senses that only one of us can be crazy at a time & it's my turn. For the next 10 years, he can go back to being the crazy one.

thank you for listening. (!)(!)

{incidentally, if you missed the cyber catfight of the year, you must read the comment section of my partner's Blog under the "Oliver's Post" entry. Why is it that, in the middle of a verbal battle, someone always brings up balls?}