Armed & Flatulent

I watched the first two episodes of Armed & Famous & I wondered why, if CBS is such a high-powered, big budget network, they couldn't have attracted better "celebrities" to this project? They could have gone the classier route & had ex-was's like Richard Dean Anderson, Jaclyn Smith or Jerry Van Dyke out there on patrol. They could also have gone completely shabby & had Gilbert Gottfried, Mike Tyson & Phyllis Diller. I'm sure most, if not all, of those individuals might have been available. If you put the quasi-cops they have on the show into a lump & squeeze them really hard, not a drop of talent would come out. Erik Estrada may still be a working actor in parts of Panama & Paraguay, but the rest are all on the fringe of show business. Actually, in the first episode, Erik did get squeezed in a take-down during training camp. We all know what came out when Osbourne giggled & squealed "he fahted!"

Despite LaToya Jackson's idiocy & her uninteresting co-stars, I'm going to give it a few more chances. I like the format & it's fun watching for people I recognize from Muncie. Once in a while there's a funny moment. As Weeman, the height-challenged cast member patrols at night with his actual-cop partner, the radio call comes, "Suspicion of prostitution...". The little cop beams as they speed to the site "I hope we catch 'em in the act!" And they did. Why on earth would a woman in such a small town consent to be on that show when she's just been caught gobbling a knob in someone's pickup truck behind the Wal-Mart? I hope she took whatever money they gave her & high-tailed it outa town.

One person who will not be skipping town is Jack Osbourne. Apparently he has grown fond of Muncie because it reminds him of his home town in the UK. He has rented an apartment with a one-year lease.