Captivity - Week Two

My actions are being monitored by my father & my son, a testosterone tribunal that sees to my diet, medication, recreation & rest. They are well aware that I am experiencing cabin fever, so they have devised some comedy routines to make my stay more appealing. Goddess help me, it's working. All afternoon I listened to my son performing "The Songs of Miss Patsy Cline, as Sung by Adam Sandler." I was a laughing, contented pepper & did not once think of disguising myself & sneaking off to the AMTRAK station.

I think I have fallen prey to the Stockholm Syndrome, which is an overidentification with captors. Terrorized captives often begin to sympathize with their kidnappers over time, as a survival strategy. It is widely believed that Patty Hearst was experiencing this syndrome when she appeared with the SLO as "Tanya" at a bank robbery. I have begun to find credence in the wishes of my doctor, my father & my son, instead of considering them a triumverate of torment that keeps me caged & drugged. Now Maya Anjelou & I both know why the caged bird sings. I know they were very frightened when I was in the coma, but I think they've begun to overplay that card when defending their overprotectiveness. I'm better now, they can ease up & exhale a little. I tried to tell my son how I felt about being grounded, but I saw his eyes cloud over, which means he put his brain elsewhere & is channeling a more pleasant, reasonable thought. He's done this since he was 2 yrs. old. At these times he always sings "She's a Maniac" to himself & plays pool on his cell phone. He & his grandfather feel that my sense of autonomy & freedom is secondary to medical issues & there's no convincing them otherwise. In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy their comedy stylings & hope that I don't end up calling myself "Svetlana" & robbing a video store.

Who knows. In another week I may be offered my freedom & refuse to go, the final stage of the Stockholm Syndrome. I will be convinced that these two men are omniscient & will adhere to their wishes. Yeah, that'll happen.